Six months ago my church launched a campaign called, “The GO Campaign” in which 2,000 people signed up to go to 4 different places.  This was part of a vision that the Lord layed on the staff hearts called, “Give yourself away.”  I remember back in March when they announced where this church was going in the next six months.  The different places to go were local such as Los Angeles and Orange County.  The other two were Mexico and my favorite - New Orleans.  I knew I didn’t want to miss out on this opportunity and I knew it was New Orleans where God was calling me to go.  So with faith and prayer I signed up for one of the 10 trips going to New Orleans.

This past weekend at church we celebrated the ending of our 6 month adventure of hearing stories and sharing experiences of each place that people went to.  On Friday night they had a GO renuion where everyone who went on a GO trip gathered around with their teams.  It was neat to see my New Orleans team again, catch up and hang out for a while.  Later on in the evening each outpost (the places where we went) had a location to go to.  Everyone who went on the New Orleans met in Studio K (this is where worship is held for the elementry kids).  All teams gathered together and we sat in chairs as people one by one got up and shared what God taught them during their trip.  After that they made a slideshow of all pictures donated from the different groups who went to New Orleans, with my suprise, they happened to take a lot of the pictures from my team and our videos we made.  As I sat there in my chair looking at the pictures and video I was brought back to July 31 - Aug 4th.  An experience that I will never forget in my life.

When they asked us to write down on this pieces of wood that they were going to put up on the church on what God taught us in that trip my mind went in different directions.  As I waited in line to write on a piece of wood I thought of all the different things that I learned on the trip and how can I wrap them all into one simple short sentence.  When it came time for me to write on the wood I remember I wrote, “God taught me the true act of servanthood, what it means to be His hands and feet without words, but with actions.” 

With the closing of the GO campaign the 2,000 people that signed up for trips this past six months have much to be thankful for and grateful for God putting this vision on the hearts of the leaders at church and giving us the opportunity to be a part of it.  Much of us have stories to tell.  We all learned different things about the Lord, people, servanthood and even ourselves.  I don’t think Rockharbor church wil ever be the same.  God called some of us to GO and we went, weather it was to Watts in Los Angeles to work with abused kids, Mexico to help build homes or New Orleans to help with Hurricane Katrina…we became the hands and feet of Jesus Christ.

I am thankful and grateful in so many respects.  I will never forget my experience, the people I met, the stories I heard and the work that went forth.  Now God is calling me and everyone else to GO in our neighboorhoods, workplace, grocery stores and anywhere where God puts an opportunity in front of us.  So here I am in Southern California…a changed and renewed person ready to GO.  I don’t know what God has in store tomorrow for as I begin my day at work, but I know that there will be opportunities and if I just ask and seek…He will show me.

Welcome to New Orleans (I am in the green hat)

We are ready to be put to work

Our first project.  To do the front and back yard of this home

We finished it!! (the backyard too)

Dave hacking the backyard

Celebrating after a long day of yard work (this was the finishing project of the backyard)

Gutting out a home owned by a woman named Mary (the kids were you grandchildren, they were great helpers)

Taking a group shot of Pastor Russ and his wife in front of their church.  We helped paint, put dry wall up and clean their sanctuary.

Me, Dave and Eric...taking a picture after a long day of yard work and gutting a home

One of the many loads of grass in this barrel we dumped out

Some of my team mates with a close up of the back of our shirts

Taking a lunch break in front of Mary's home

Charlie mowing the lawn of the home we did yard work on.  He is 63 and his wife is 60.  I was encouraged by their act of service as a married couple.

I am not sure what I was laughing about, but I am sure it was pretty funny

Taking a picture with one of Mary's grandchildren

Listening to instruction from Buela on what our project for the day will be

Eating out at a local buffet

GO New Orleans Team 5 - My new family

Thank you Lord once again for this opportunity you sent before us.  To go and serve where there was a need.  It was such an amazing experience to be your hands and feet.  Amen.

In short 5 days, I will be officaly 24 years old.  I can't believe it, where has the time gone?  It seems like just the other day I had my 21st birthday and yet it seems just like yesterday I was graduating from High School.

I am one of those people's who looks back at where God has brought me in the last year and this past year has been painful in many moments and yet it has been freeing in so many ways.  I have shed many hard tears and in the process, I have truly grown into womahood and although still this day I don't have it all figured out, I just know without a shadow of a doubt, God is smiling on me right now.  Do you ever just get the sense of the spirit reminding you of how much He loves you and adores you?  It's so easy to look at our faults, failures and mistakes (and trust me, I have plenty of them) but I am also constantly reminded each day that God's unfailing love has truly brought freedom in my life.

Just less than 8 months ago I had my first meeting with Bill, just a year ago I went from living in a horrible situation, into an amazing place with amazing roomates, a year ago I went from not having a job, to have a job that has truly blessed me in more ways than I can imagine, just a year ago, I went from being in a church that didn't feel like home, to walking into a church where it feels like home and just 4 months ago I started back at school, getting my degree in Psychology and have finished already 3 classes with a GPA of 3.50.  And just in a couple of weeks, I am about to start another new life.  I will be moving into a new place, going to New Orleans in three weeks to serve the people from Hurrican Katrina and when I get back I am stepping up into leadership as a life group leader for a group of individuals.  And it was 8 months ago, where I knew that I was meant to lead a life group, but it wasn't God's timing and now it is finally all unfolding in front of me, with a co-leader and I get to open up my new home for the group that God blesses me with.

I have seen so many blessings, but I have also seen many tears in the last year of my life.  Many nights on my face before by Lord, crying in desperate need of Him and His spirit.  I have prayed for freedom in my heart, for healing and restoring and I have seen some VERY important people that I care and love leave my life for good.  I have experienced great pain in the last year, but I have also experienced great joy, healing, and freedom.  I have seen the little scared girl unsure of herself become a woman of confidence in her Lord and truly knowing that my idenity lies in Christ and Him alone.  I have found myself and in finding myself, I have also found Christ.  Brennan Manning has this saying in his  book, "Abba's Child," "If I find my true self, I will find Christ and if I find Christ, I will find my trueself."  I love those words since they speak such truth in my life.

I am not sure what the next year looks like for my life, probably more tears, more breaking and in the midst of all of that, a closer, intimate walk with my God.  I am learning that each day is enough, that I don't have to have it all figured out, that I don't have to worry (although I still do), that when God promises me something, I better  believe it will come to pass.  And in the deepest of my hearts, I just desire for God to humble me more and more each day, to strip me away from my pride and flesh and continue to make me new in Him and if I have many tears and brokeness ahead, I trust that it is only because God desires to purify me to be more like Him and to me, that is all that matters, that I become more like Christ and in that becoming, that in return I would reflect that onto others.

Currently Reading Let Me Be a Woman By Elisabeth Elliot see related

Last night some friends and I met up to support our dear friend who has given up the next year of her life to serve the Lord in Africa.  We went to a well known church around here, where they had a little get together for her and others who are heading off.  We all sat at the table, eating, chatting and hearing stories of these brave people going forth for Christ name in a way that leaves a mark for eternity.

I am always touched and moved by people's act of service for our Lord, it humbles me and reminds me of exactly what my dreams and passions are.  As we stood in a circle greeting our friend, I began to ask her how she was doing.  You see just last week there was a fire break out up in Northern California where she is from and her house and all her families belongings were lost.  As she began to tell me and the others what God has been doing in her family (She is the only one saved) my heart was humbled by her faith and act of service for our Lord.  As the tears began to fall down her face, I just remember embracing her with a warm hug.

Erin has been a dear friend of mine for the last year and a half.  Her faith and dedication to our Lord leaves me truly wanting more of the Lord and yesterday when we got to talk about her leaving to Africa in the next week for 5 months and coping with her family and their loss, I truly see in her such a Godly woman.  She is only 22 years old and desiring to change the world for God's name sake.  I have seen her go through heartbreak, chasing mountains that she never thought she could overcome and share her passion for wanting to reach people.  Each time I leave a conversation with her, I am truly blessed by her words and wisdom. 

And last night as we heard people talk of their stories and experience in Africa and saw video's made, my heart was touched in such a way that reminds me of truly what God calls each and everyone of us to do.  To love as He has love, to serve as He has and to make disciples of men, just as He has.  God hasn't given me a heart for Africa, but He has given me a heart to reach the lost, broken and weary.  I don't know where God is leading me, but the end of this month I have my frist opportunity to truly serve as I am on my way to New Orleans to serve the victims of Hurricane Katrina.  I am excited and yet nervous at the same time.  I am just truly looking forward to touching lives, the way that Christ has touched my life.  I am excited to see the people and remind them that they have not been forgotten.  I don't know what the Lord is going to do or how He is going to use me, but I am available and willing to go forth.

It's night's like last night that reminds my friends and I, the true essence of what we as Christians are to do, to live radical lives that will change this world for the sake of Christ's name and His name alone.  And to me, there is no greater life than this.

Yesterday at church we had guest speaker Mike Pilavachi and one of his bands played for worship in music.  If you are not familiar with Mike, he is the pastor of the head church in the UK called, "Soul Survivor" where Matt Redman and Tim Hughes are a part of.  Last time Mike came it was in November and he brought Tim Hughes with him and I remember what an amazing service that was and knew that I was in for a treat this Sunday again.

Mike taught on cultivating the love of God in our lives as our Father and how this is a generation that needs to raise up great fathers.  I grew up in single household not knowing who my bilogical father was, but my mom definitely had enough love to spread around in place of that.  For me growing up knowing that I had a heavenly Father truly shaped my heart and passion for God in a way that still this day I can't begin to desribe in words.  For me it is simple.  I do struggle with at times cultivating that love and allowing it to be present in my life, but I have found in those moments He makes Himself more real in my heart than ever before.  I could go on an on with the different parts of the service that touched me the most, but I encourage you to go to my church website, www.rockharbor.org and hear for yourself.

At the end of the service my friend and I got to work the booth selling the CD's of Tim Hughes, Matt Redman and Mike's books.  I glanced over at the different things that were being sold and one of the books that wasn't selling that much caught my attention, "Wasteland?  Encountering God in the Desert" by Mike Pilavachi.  It's no more than 110 pages and truly easy to read.  I have no doubt in my mind I will finish in a couple of days or even one day (I just love reading).  Anyhoo, I started reading it yesterday when I was at the beach and I am truly captivated by Mike's words of wisdom and complete experience in what it is like to be in a place where you feel like God isn't moving or speaking to you.  The first chapter Mike starts the book by saying, "The urgent need for the church today is not far more celver people to explain Jesus better.  It is not for more attractive people who by their looks and personality will make Christianity suddenly more trendy and appealing.  It is not even for more committed and disciplined people who will advance the cause of the kingdom of Jesus by grit and hard work.  The great need today is for deep and authentic people."  I recently have been pondering the very thought of what it means to be deep and authentic in my life.

The last few Saturday's I have gone with some friends up the river bank in Long Beach handing out lunches to the homeless and this past Saturday the 7 of us that went got to meet a woman by the name of Shorty.  At first she seemed upbeat, nice, friendly and carefree.  As we began to ask her about her story and how she got here, the tears started streaming down her face.  Her brokeness and need for help was so evident and real to us.  We asked if we could pray for her and she insisted that we would.  As we layed hands on her, I began to ask the Lord how I could bless her with my service.  As I began to pray for Shorty I thanked the Lord for allowing us to come in contact with her, to hear her story and cry with her and most important the opportunity to be vunerable with her about how broken we are inside also.  I dont meant the brokeness of emptiness, I mean the brokeness that reminds of how much in need we are of our savior.  

It's those contact with people like Shorty reminds us of how authentic and deep God calls the body of Christ to be, to not hide, to be open, honest and real with ourselves and the people around us.  One day I desire to have a ministry that allows people the freedom to begin this process, to watch people unfold into genuine human beings. 

"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude.  It does not insist on it's own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices in with the truth.  Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  Love never ends." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Growing up I always thought that love was an easy thing.  And at times it seems like the most natural thing for me to do and yet other times I find myself struggling to choose to love someone.  Growing up in the church I heard many sermons on love and sacrafice and the complete example of perfect love when God sent His only son to die on the cross for my sins.  Many times I pondered the very thought of what it is to love as Christ, to truly sacrafice and give myself up for someone else, that even when they hurt you, dissapiont you or ridcule you, that in the midst of that, you can truly choose to love.

Times in my life I thought I was "in-love" with someone and yet as the years go by and the growth I am experiencing, I truly recognize the different patterns I went through and I never knew what it meant to truly love someone in a way that only God in words can explain and I am truly confident that 1 Corinthians 13 defines how I truly have felt the last couple of years.  And sometimes loving someone means taking a risk and as I have been praying and seeking God, I don't regret the last two years in loving someone.  And in loving that person I took a big risk and maybe at times I wasn't wise when I knew that although my heart was completely there, there heart wasn't fully there for me in return.  But isn't that the complete act of unconditional and sacraficial love, knowing that there is a big chance you may not get that in return?  I was pondering the very thought of Christ and His love for the world, that He in human flesh came down sacraficially giving up all of Him, for the sake of us, to redeem us back to Him, the cost was great and the risk was huge, but because of His love and because He is love, nothing could convice Him otherwise.

With that being said, I am learning to love like Christ, even if it is painful, even if it hurts, but sometimes it's in those pains that love truly does conquer within yourself because in that conquering, you are reflecting an image of Christ and when people see me and they look into my eyes, I want them to see Christ and if that means laying my rights, wants and desires to put someone ahead of me, that to me is the act of love defined by Christ.  There are no strings attached.

And one day God will give me the opportunity to be loved back in a way that I have recently and I am not sure when or how it is going to happen, but I trust that right now, this moment, God is teaching me something bigger than I expected, that right now, this second I can love, that I can show love to the homeless people I come in contact with, that I can show love to the woman who has lost her job and has no finances or means to get by, that I can show love to the orphan who has no love and even to a person who can't even give love themselves, with Christ in me and working through me, I can magnify and represent, the very act and will of loving, even when I am not loved back.  That to me is the philosophy of Christ.